Adebisi Joins the Soprano Family
by breehcnicdoll
Summary: The second installment of the Adebisi crossover series, about when Adebisi joined the Sopranos. It doesn't make any sense, but who needs sense in Adebisi crossovers? It's also very violent.


**Adebisi joins the Soprano family**

 **Chapter I**

Adebisi is released from prison, and he says to the warden, "Please let me stay, Leo, I've nowhere to go!" The warden puffs his cigar, and says, "This is no hotel, sonny", his gold-toothed grin lighting up the office. Adebisi leaves the prison grounds, and the great metal gate of doom closes up behind him. He glances back at the gate, and reminisces about his stay in the prison. Tears fill his eyes, but he decides that it is time to go.

He makes his way to a bus stop, and gets on a bus. The bus driver asks him for two Dollars. "I can give you two pieces of eight," Adebisi responds. The bus driver looks through the windshield, impatiently tapping his fingers on the wheel, whilst considering his offer. Looking back at Adebisi, he says, "Fine. If it'll get you out of my face, sucker."

Taking a seat in the back of the bus, he lights a cigar he received from Leo Glynn as a parting gift. It is a fine cigar, indeed, having been customised by Leo Glynn himself, whatever that means. He looks out the bus window, and sees street performers being harassed by crooked cops, prostitutes beaten to death by angry pimps and stray cats eaten alive by drunken beggars. Having finished his cigar, he dozes off.

Adebisi is awakened by a baseball bat to his face, and the driver yells, "Get out of my vehicle, motherfucker!" Adebisi thanks the driver for waking him, and gets off the bus.

After a few minutes of walking in a certain direction, he encounters a young, handsome Italian being held at gunpoint by some Polacks, or, at least, some kind of Polacks. He kills the Polacks, and offers the boy a hand to help him up from the ground. "Thank you," the boy cries, "they were going to kill me." Adebisi puts his hands on the boy's cheeks, looking deeply into his eyes, and says, "I know that you would do the same thing for me, friend."

Adebisi accompanies the boy to a stripclub. "I could give you a lap dance, if you want," the boy offers, as they enter the club, "By the way, you should meet my boss. I'm sure that he'll reward you." Adebisi sits down on a strip chair, and gets the lap dance he has been promised. "Enjoy yourself, whilst I go get my boss," the boy says, high fiving him, before entering the boss's office.

Adebisi enjoys the lap dance very much, thinking of an Italian mobster in prison. He wonders if the boy and his boss are mobbed up. Sure, this strip club could be legitimate business. Everyone needs a lap dance occasionally, right? But the boy was held at gunpoint, after all. That seems suspicious.

After the third lap dance, the boy returns with a somewhat fat, but still handsome, old man. "I am the Godfather of this family," the man hisses, "You have helped my nephew, Chris Moltisanti. We are in your debt." The man hands Adebisi his second cigar for the day, and continues, "But this family has fallen on hard times. We could need someone like you out there, annihilating our enemies."

Adebisi puffs his cigar, and nonchalantly asks the elderly gentleman, "What is in it for me, Sir?" The boss smiles, and gives Adebisi the special mark of the Soprano family. "Take this. It will give you special access to all of the Soprano businesses."

Before leaving, Adebisi kneels before the boss and kisses his ring. The boss coughs up an old piece of tobacco, and says with a shaky voice, "Go out and make me proud, son. You will receive your assignments from the payphone in New Jersey."

Adebisi checks into a sleazy motel, and falls asleep in a warm bed. He dreams of Schibetta, an Italian with whom he has always had a stable relationship. In the dream Schibetta speaks to him in his native tongue: "You'll be a made man in no time, Adebisi. You just gotta respect da family, and you'll have your G's." Adebisi wakes up, and scratches his head, not having understood a single word in that utterance. "Why am I dreaming in Italian?" He takes a sip of his expensive Italian whisky, before going back to sleep.

Early in the morning, he arrives at the payphone in New Jersey, arriving just in time for it to start ringing. He picks up, and the boss of the Soprano family is at the other end, speaking with a shaky voice, "Adebisi, you must go to the home for the elderly, or whatever, and kill everyone."

He goes to the home for the elderly in a flashy yacht, knowing fully well that, if he is to get any respect in this line of work, he must make a grand entrance. Arriving at the retirement home's docks, the security guards start shooting at the yacht. Adebisi kills them all with the yacht's anti-aircraft guns, and shakes his fist to the dead bodies. "Good thing I read The Art of Cannons," he mutters.

Entering the Gothic building, he is approached by an armoured guard, who speaks in a German, robotic accent: "I am ze overseer of zis compound. You have been identified as an intruder. Intruders must be eliminated." The behemoth of a German cyborg starts shooting with its miniguns. Adebisi rolls behind an impenetrable wall of titanium, and starts shooting with his plasma rifle. The cyborg explodes, and leaves a pool of blood and circuits.

Adebisi picks up one of the circuits, and presses the self destruction button. He hurries back to the yacht, whereupon the retirement community explodes, and everyone inside dies a painful death. "Mass murder completed," Adebisi says victoriously, patting himself on the shaft.

He returns to the payphone, standing there awkwardly for a while. People start looking at him, as his shirt is suspiciously filled with circuits. When the phone starts ringing, he throws it up the air, and catches it on the way down, "Mission completed," he says. "I am proud of you, son. My mother and uncle were inside that building, and they were probably conspiring to kill me. I'll give you more work tomorrow," the boss says in panic, as he is having a panic attack at the time.


End file.
